Okay! Vulnerability time. It’s 9:35 pm, October 10th, and I hesitated writing about this but you never know what could help someone else. So here I am.
Today I went out with my family. Like I stated in Saturday’s vlog, I did my hair for the first time and I love it but… I have my moments of questioning myself.
I have this battle that I constantly pray about and ask God to fix; which is, never feeling like I’m beautiful when I step out amongst the crowd. I ’m always up and down about my beauty. Today I felt like my hair wasn’t good enough. When I looked in the mirror, dissatisfaction was written all over me no matter what I tried. Then the questions came. Am I pretty today? What about the marks on my face? Is my outfit okay? Do I look fat in this? Do people think I’m ugly when they pass me? Now, is my hair ugly?
When am I going to feel confident? It’s always something.
These thoughts begin to affect my mood and I literally want to just run back into my room and hide. Where has my confidence gone? Where is that beautiful daughter, that fully loved herself, God created?
I feel like society’s beauty standard is what took her away. To Be honest, those thoughts of not feeling good enough always try to attack me and there are millions of beautiful black queens that feel the same way. From a hairstyle, our face, our skin color, outfits, and body. Society has set a false narrative that we have to look a certain way to be “beautiful.” And if you don’t then you’re not good enough in THEIR EYES.
BUT I have to stop right there and end it. God gave us power, and in this moment we’re taking it back. We can control who gets the glory, people’s validations and opinions, our emotions, or God?
God gets the glory because He created us. He’s the only one who can take these emotions and turn them into something purposeful to get the glory out of it. We are beautiful in his eyes. THERE IS NO STANDARD.
And when we have those thoughts we have to attack them with God’s word and positive affirmations.
Here are the scriptures to keep in your heart:
- Galatians 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
- Song of Solomon 4:7 You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.
- 1 Peter 3:3-4 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
- 1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
- Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
- Psalms 139:13-14 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Remember….
I am beautiful
I am loved
I am created in God’s image
My worth is not defined by beauty
I only seek God’s approval
I am confident
My skin color is beautiful
Society does not have control of me
My emotions are not my reality
God’s light shines through me
I speak peace to the negative thoughts and ask God to remind us of the beauty he sees in us. Remember to seek only God’s validation. He loves you and so do I.
Talk to you soon, Key Lashaye 🖤
