So if you’ve read my post, How perfectionism ruined my life , you’re probably thinking well girl how are you breaking out?
The number one solution is turning my face towards God. I’m asking Him daily to lead my life. To be the center attraction. To reveal where it all begin. So…..
How did I get sucked into perfectionism?
I thought I needed to have or play the part for God to do big things or use me. But he doesn’t bless who I pretend to be . When he called me, he wanted to use me as I am. I was enough. How i create is enough. He wanted to develop my character but not change who I was to the core. That’s where I got it wrong. There was a version of me, authenticity, that got locked away years ago because of life, experiences, and opinions.
And it was happening all over again. My insecurity caused me to change myself. To become what the world told me to be in order to be something. Because I didn’t trust that God could use who I truly am or what I have.
So I spent time creating, changing, and buying to create this image that he could use. But that was all a lie. He wants my true self to see the light again. That version that was suppressed behind all of the “masks,” that’s exactly who he wanted to use in the first place.
Now knowing that, here I am. I have given myself grace. It’s okay. You were trying to figure it out. Your trust wasn’t there yet. You looked around, instead of up. But now you know. And that’s what this journey is about. As Mike Todd says, “progression not perfection.”
But it’s time to take control. let’s put some habits in place.
Boundaries
I had to let go of putting myself in the box of “apps” .. doing everything and living for social media. Seeing too much of strangers lives and less of my life. I need to live in the REAL WORLD. Put the phone down and look around. I needed to spend more time making memories, and not consuming.
I realized it wasn’t fun to create anymore because I placed myself in the industry too much. I took the fun out of it by trying to create or measure myself by the people I was inspired by or “motivation.”I told myself, If I see it then it’ll motivate me! No it did the opposite. What was an innocent motivation became harm to my growth and enjoyment. So I need balance. Healthiness. Therefore, I hit that unfollow button. Asking myself questions. How does this impact me? What is the content feeding me? Is it empowering me to build in my own life? Etc
FYI: just because you don’t follow a person doesn’t mean it equates to not liking a person. I can still be inspired or love people even though I don’t follow their every move.
I learned, and continue to, be my own best friend. To like me for who I am. To be okay with who I see in the mirror. Be gentle with myself. Be nice to me. Not negative. And ask myself, do I like it? If I do then who cares! Do it and live for yourself!
I’m learning to bring my camera along the journey of life. Not creating life around the camera. My girl Monet McMichael taught me that! It’s about capturing what I want to share.
I’ve learned that I don’t need to constantly be on social media or posting to make it. My growth is dependent on God! Not what culture tells us. I have literally deleted apps! And I download when it’s time to create but I’m going back to the times when you had to hit that google to get on socials! Call me too much but it’s what works for me!
Lastly, l look up for my validation! My approval comes from God. I don’t need to look to the world to be confident or sure of myself. God called me! Not the world. Shoot, they constantly changing on people everyday anyways! So I make it my duty to constantly go to him. Listening to his voice, and silencing the voices that say I am not good enough. Or need to be this or that. Or to have.
my advice to myself and to others…. Is of course God first! But ask yourself questions. Why! Why am I wearing this! What am I doing! What am I here for! What is my reason!
Talk to you soon, Key Lashaye 🖤
