I feel in this current moment, I don’t feel like my style has a statement. I feel like who cares????? Everyone is doing it already. You’re not bringing nothing new to the table. It feels basic. Why should I have this platform when i still don’t fully know what I’m doing, get bored with clothes sometimes, or I still struggle to shop. Like today, everything comes out sucky. My closet feels like I never have enough pieces. I’m always missing something!!
Before I knew I wanted to go down this path, dressing was easy for me. There was no one I was trying to impress! I didn’t care about people’s opinions because I lived in a small city plus shoot I lived very normal. I never figured eyes would be on me. I mean still isn’t lol but eventually it will. I guess what I’m saying is I feel I need to be GREAT in order to be in this position.
And I know I’m just overthinking and being my worst critic. But we all have those days. Everyday isn’t sunshine and roses.
And I don’t want it to seem like im complaining . Just feeling like an imposter . Like there are wayyyyy more creative people so why am I here ..
But even as I took a break from this. In my devotion, God directed me to 1st Corinthians 4 and there were some key pointers that stood out.
First… I shouldn’t judge myself on the outward appearance or my works alone. it’s not just about that. I was being too hard on myself at that time. When Jesus judges me He looks at the motive of my heart, and not only the outward action. So my focus doesn’t need to be on being the greatest or the judgement of myself and others. I shouldn’t even give them that power because it’s not important. At the end of the day, it’s about motives and service. Just sharing my truth. It would be fraud for me to get up here and be everything I’m not. Plus God wouldn’t bless that anyways.
Yeah I don’t feel like I belong right now and there others that probably can do it better but its God’s Grace that I am here. He chose me. It’s not that anybody is better than the other. Or I belong here because I can dress better and should tell you how to do live your life. No it’s just because of God’s grace and his undeserving favor.
And I should just focus on that.
Talk to you soon, Key Lashaye 🖤
