There was a season when I didn’t appreciate the calling on my life. My eyes were so focused on looking to the left and right. I was watching people live their lives and passing me . To me it seemed that it happened so easy for them.
I didn’t understand why God called me to do this when everyone else is doing videos or when it seems like people don’t want to read anymore. I didn’t understand how God was going to use this to impact others and also being able to sustain my life through it. I didn’t understand why I had to get it the hard way. Every time I would try to go through Tiktok or YouTube it just didn’t feel right. I wanted to walk with him but still do stuff that made sense to my logic. But It just seemed like I was stepping out of bounds every time.
I think once I really started to look within, I realized I was fighting God’s will. Not purposely but I wasn’t really walking by faith. I was still walking with a squint trying to see through sight. Saying God I trust you but not fully enough to release my control. And it’s okay if you’re feeling this way right now because it’s not easy giving your trust to someone that you can’t visibly see. We’re so use to culture telling us that no one controls your life but you. Yes that’s true but to a certain extent. You do have the control to make decisions on this earth because our father doesn’t force us to do anything. He doesn’t want slaves that takes the love out of it. So we as his children have to decide that yes I want to let him in and turn loose of the control and willingly grab hold to trust and follow His will. And to do that it takes making time to be in his presence every day and the more you do it trust becomes easier.
That’s what I’m just now working on . I think I’m just now really saying to myself that I don’t want what no one else has. What God is doing in my life is special to me and he knows all. I no longer want to worry about things that don’t matter. I just want to focus on loving him, and since I can do that everything else is taking care of.
Now that I am making it a priority to surrender the need to know it all. I no longer need to understand every little thing and most things I won’t understand until it comes to fruition. I find myself being excited to write and step fully into what I know I’m called to. Im learning to have confidence in my gift. To use my experiences, pen, and paper to share this journey through life. God will handle the rest.
Talk to you soon, Key Lashaye🖤
